Ok, so,

i miss writing. i've been "writing" things in my head (yes, not just blogging - writing writing!) for a while now, but i did not feel that longing (for utter lack of better words, obviously) until The Lovely Nowhere reading at La Mama last week.

My intital thought coming out of there was, wow, people i knew from years back (freakin' PRE-Arkipelago days, as in Native Souls Collective days - do you even remember that?) were there, one was a reader, some others were in the audience. It freaked me out quite a bit, not just coz i hadn't seen them in years, but the fact that we were all so much OLDER. And THEY were still "in the scene" know what i mean? The other thought was that though most of the male readers were quite strong performers, i felt only one female reader made any real impact on me.

And i thought, dang, we need more females performing works. And not just that overdone and usually wanna-be "spoken word" style of performance. For a brief moment, i was like, shit, I could do that. I DID do that once or twice. Then reality set in. SHIT! I haven't written anything worth reading nor sharing with others in YEARS. And even when S held her sometimes annual spring open mic get togethers among friends, the thing I read was really just bullshit. I mean even I knew it was pure crap. Or to be kinder to myself, stuff that could use more development.

So basically the past few days, I went to the highs of reminiscing to the lows of 'shit, all i talk about now are my students'. SHIT. What the hell happened? Anyways, excruciating and insignificant story cut short, I'm writing again. In a small notebook i've been carrying in my bag for months. Its been mostly empty 'cept for occasional recordings of good food or wine I'd have. Now its full of shit. Hehe. Ok, shit that has potential for development. Ok? Its a start. Yes, I have started.